


Knight at the Museum

by LizardsInTheGarden



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Gen, Hero!Roman, Logan gets mentioned once, No Angst, Not Beta Read, They have a healthy brotherly relationship, cursing, villain!remus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25159657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizardsInTheGarden/pseuds/LizardsInTheGarden
Summary: On a slow night, Roman and Remus have a "totally real," fight in a museum, and they have a great time. Items and creatures alike are thrown around.That place really should have just invested in a nightgaurd, huh?
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	Knight at the Museum

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, Cocotoad, for the title!
> 
> Fun Fact: While I was writing this, the title was "Author needs to stop being a wuss and post already." It was very motivational
> 
> Another Fun Fact: I hope you have a great day!

It had been a slow night so far, and it was ridiculous! No supervillain attacks in over a _week._ The air was crisp, the stars shined brightly, and all was _infuriatingly peaceful._ Not so much as a single armed robber to up the stakes this evening. Regalia was itching for a fight, and he was growing more and more impatient as time dragged its feet. It's not like he could just go up to someone and start something up. No, that was his brother's- _ahem_ , he means _The Duke's_ shtick. Then, praise be to whoever was looking out for him on this night, he heard a loud _crash._ Immediately, Regalia sprinted almost too eagerly towards the noise, and as he slowed down , his stride had a little more bounce to it than a few moments before.

Regalia stepped through the rubble of the local museum's wall, conjuring up a sword as he did so. He hoped that whatever formidable foe had to face tonight was scary or at least _interesting_ to deal with. He swears to himself if it's just some vandal that all he has to do is appear in front of to scare off _for the third time this week,_ he is going to lose it. He doesn't know what _it_ is, exactly, but it is sure to be lost.

Stepping further in, he flourished the sword, making sure that it was shiny enough to cast a shine upon the walls, even in the dead of night. The dim natural light revealed that several lumps of slowly wriggling ooze coated portions of the concrete chunks, bricks, and some select rods of exposed rebar. _Gross. Can't wait to figure out where it came from._

"Reveal yourself, you dastardly- oh it's just you," he finished blankly, but he perked up right after. Regalia might not be in for a real fight tonight, but this would certainly ward off the boredom that had been creeping up on Roman's nightly-knight escapades as of late.

He admittedly shouldn't have been surprised to see The Duke before him. The viscous slime was practically a dead giveaway. _How many slugs are sacrificed daily to this cause?_ His brother was hanging upside down off of a T-rex's ribcage, gently swinging back and forth. Waiting.

Roman briefly wondered how much weight it would take in order for one of the ribs to snap. _Logan would know. I should ask him later. "Chances are it was a replica anyway," he'd later be told "Why'd you ask?" "Uh. Just curious?"._ Keeping up his persona, Regalia glanced around, and upon spotting a small blinking light, got The Duke's attention. 

"Wow you sure were _sloppy_ this time, rat-man. It's almost as if you were _begging to get caught!"_ Regalia hoped the emphasis combined with a small twitch to the far left wall would tip The Duke off. Regalia can't be the one to disarm security measures; it always has to be the villain's job.

The Duke, now upright atop the tyrannosaur, tilted his head to the side momentarily, before the realization set in to his eyes. He promptly summoned a bird to dive-bomb the camera. Said bird, along with the camera, exploded into an array of plumage, blood, and bits of debris. _Ew, that poor bird had a short, yet fully revolting existence._ Quick work was made of all other surveillance equipment in the same fashion. Once the lights stopped blinking, destroyed beyond function, Roman sighed.

"Look, Remus, I really enjoy 'fighting' you but I also need you to be more careful. Our identities and more importantly our _reputations_ are on the line. I beg of you to check more thoroughly next time yo-"

An octopus had been flung into his face. _Rude._ The slime _gross, why_ _, nevermind, this is Remus,_ that went up his nose made Roman sneeze. _Double rude._

"Sorry Robro, I'll try not to let it happen again." Remus knew how important keeping up the "goody two-shits-...shoes" reputation was to Roman. While Remus didn't really care about what people thought of him, his brother always _had_ to be the hero. All of the spars, banter, and bond they shared had to be kept under wraps, as long as the masks were on and the powers were out. Remus, however, was perfectly content with being seen as _whatever the hell_ people _wanted_ to see him as. If someone thought he was awful for scaring the zoo employees into thinking a lion got loose, _so be it._ If somebody had a soft spot after attempted kidnapper happened to have his hand unceremoniously bitten off by a saltwater crocodile, with the crocodillian disappearing without a trace, then that's just life. The Duke does _what_ he wants, _when_ he wants, _how_ he wants, without a regard for consequences. A reaction is a reaction, and that's that. Regalia can handle the "hero," bullshit. 

Roman flung the octopus back at his brother with a flourish. He wasn't quite quick enough though, as Remus had waved it away: vanished before it could reach him.

"Cheater," Roman, remembering his own powers, summoned glue based slime before unceremoniously flinging it at Remus, hitting him in the chest, getting all up in the embroidery of his outfit.

" _Bring it on you little bitch."_

Together, they sparred for hours, laughing, and occasionally knocking artifacts over by mistake. Roman was quick to catch and put back each item as they fell, though. He can't let anything be actually gone or ruined. It wouldn't be very heroic, especially since _at least_ half of the mess would've been his fault anyhow.

Swarms of cicadas, big cats, and strange fish appeared and demanifested, with various swords, gunfire and other random objects being thrown or swung in response. The only restrictions were that of size. A shame: that meant no dragons or mechanized armies, but they made do. If the messes weren't willed away right after, the whole area would have probably been impossible to clean. 

What they didn't anticipate was exactly how much dust absolutely coated some of the exhibits. They had failed to notice before, courtesy of the chaos of their own creation, but now that they had taken a breather, it was impossible to miss. Remus, after having gotten some stuck in his mustache, began to sneeze.

"Pfft, are you alright, bro?" Roman laughed at his twins expense. _That's what you get._

"Fuck-" _achoo_ "you," _achoo. "_ Not funny," Remus struggled, before coming up with an idea. 

The high pitched buzzing and blurring surroundings instantly tipped the other off. "You little _demon!"_ Roman yelled to Remus "I can't stand mosquitoes, get them out of here before I use a flamethrower!" He swatted at his arms and grumbled "little bastards everywhere." 

Remus, after one, final sneeze laughed and responded "Do it, dollar-bin, I'd like to see you try!" As Roman did _exactly that_ , he added that "only pregnant mosquitoes bite people, so you should really be calling them bitches." Roman sent him a glare before rolling his eyes with a smile. The flamethrower was incredibly effective, but nothing could top the look on Remus's face as the tiny bas- _bitches_ burned to a crisp.

Eventually, it got to be past midnight, and as the pair were going their separate ways, an old morning star caught Remus's eye. It was towards the back, and he got the impression that it hadn't been looked at in a long time...

"No! Don't you dare." Roman said, trying to sound authoritative, but failing to avoid giggling towards the end. 

"But you get swords whenever you want. I can't. Haha, I'm going to keep this," Remus responded, flipping the old weapon in the air and catching it by it's handle with ease, as if he'd done it a million times before. _No way am I putting this back now._ "Alright admit it, Ro, that looked cool!"

"I admit it, that _did_ look _kind of_ cool," he began, "but you still need to put it back."

"TOO LATE, ALREADY TOOK IT SEE'YA LATER!" Remus shouted as he conjured a flock of _flying_ _something Roman didn't even want to know,_ and disappeared into the night. Roman hoped the replica he put in it's place was convincing enough. That museum was never getting their morning star back.

The next day, when the two brothers passed each other on the street as civilians, Remus grinned at Roman. "I got this for you," he said, tossing the small object for Roman to catch. Upon examination, it was a small canister of pepper spray, with a crudely done, but all too familiar, morning star painted on with the words "not a mace," scrawled around it in metallic sharpie. Roman bit back a chuckle as he pocketed it.

His brother always was the best to have fun with.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work, so if I need to change anything, please let me know!
> 
> Also, I have other stuff I might do for this au (notice how only two people are actually relevant here). It's all just drabble right now though, and I'm open to suggestions.
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated!


End file.
